I can forgive but I can never forget

I can't sleep and there is an awful lot on my mind tonight. I only wish I could stay the whole night up and let my mind wander with no boundaries but I need to sleep. I need all the rest I can get for Account paper tomorrow which I am mighty confident that I am going to screw up and get a fucken' G9. I can already foresee it. So, fuck my life.

I just want to be happy. I'm okay right now and that's better than being miserable but I keep having this feeling of not wanting to wake up or just simply not to try anymore. I am suffocating. I think I deserve a break, y'know?

I'm so sick of using the same words over and over again and I am so fucken' tired of doing the same things over and over again. I don't know how to get out, I don't know how to move. I feel so fucking lifeless.

My eyelids are starting to feel heavy but my mind won't let me rest.

I think I can kind of figure what's one of the problems with me. I can forgive but I can never fucking forget. I want to forget but I just fucking can't. This...feeling or something follows me wherever I go like a fucking shadow and it haunts me all the time. I wish it would stop and I only wish that wishes would come true.

Fuck my life, fuck everything. I'm going to bed.

Hey, I miss you

Alright, so I may not be the world's most efficient blogger (as a matter of fact, I think my blogging mojo secretly went on a long vacay AKA vacation :/) but I won't disappoint ya'll once my exams are over and done with. I assure youz. Heh heh.

Upcoming paper is Biology and I'm so hoping to ace it. I'm going back to the books right after I am done blogging. Time-out right now, I needa a little entertainment and time to restore my brain juice too, y'know. (AddMath sucked out 98% of my brain juice yesterday and even so, I am going to flunk it. I iz veh sad. :/) Account paper right after Biology, I'm harbouring little hope for it. Chemistry is my last paper. Boy, I can't wait for some odd reason. I'm hoping to ace Chemistry as well since there's an entire week for me to work on it. Heh heh. Please pray for me, kay? :) Good luck and God bless to the rest of the SPM '09 candidates too.

I think I'll also spam my blog with pretty photogs 'cause seriously, my blog is lacking of pixxies of myself, my personal life and all. The reason why I don't upload pictures of mine a lot is 'cause the pictures' size are usually really large (I don't have any programmes or whatsoever to resize 'em, wtf) and it takes forever to load. So yeah, it's pretty exasperating. In vain hope, I hope Daddy would be willing to get me a brand new lappy. :/ (I could use the fact that I'm entering A-levels AKA college/uni in a month or so time as an excuse right? Regarding my college/uni whatever entry, I'll blog about it another time soon.) My computer reeks to the core please. I have to wait forever just for it to freaking start up and I swear it is the laggiest functioning computer in the universeee. I kid you notz.

Oh, yeah, find yourself into my old posts and I think you'd find a post or two which were never really counted as posted. I like editing my old posts and finally posting drafted posts which are supposed to be up from eons ago. Hah hah.

Other than that, I also like reading my old blogs/posts during my spare time. Hah hah, wtf. Meh, I am just out of words. So, toodles.

P/S: Keep a close eye to this space.. 'Cuz sumfin new is coming your wayz :>
PP/S: Click here and catch my eye, wtf. SIGN UP, KEHZZZ?

I guess we'll never know

Here I stand alone
With this weight upon my heart
And it will not go away
In my head I keep on looking back
Right back to the start
Wondering what it was that made you change

Well I tried
But I had to draw the line
And still this question keeps on spinning in my mind

What if I had never let you go
Would you be the man I used to know
If I'd stayed
If you'd tried
If we could only turn back time
But I guess we'll never know

Many roads to take
Some to joy
Some to heart-ache
Anyone can lose their way
And if I said that we could turn it back
Right back to the start
Would you take the chance and make the change

Do you think how it would have been sometimes
Do you pray that I'd never left your side

What if I had never let you go
Would you be the man I used to know
If I'd stayed
If you'd tried
If we could only turn back time
But I guess we'll never know

If only we could turn the hands of time
If I could take you back would you still be mine

'Cos I tried
But I had to draw the line
And still this question keeps on spinning in my mind

What if I had never let you go
Would you be the man I used to know
What if I had never walked away
'Cos I still love you more than I can say
If I'd stayed
If you'd tried
If we could only turn back time
But I guess we'll never know
We'll never know